The last guy to get a thrill out of falling leaves was Adam. And look at the the trouble THAT got him into. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the beauty of fall foliage, but then those gorgeous multi-colored leaves turn dreary brown and fall to the ground. And fall. And fall. And fall.

I only have a couple of puny deciduous trees on my whole property, but on my first attempt to rake, I made a leaf pile high enough to overshadow the Great Pyramid of Giza. I wondered how this was possible. Then it hit me. Literally. As the wind transported a large maple leaf and deposited in my hoodie, it became obvious. It was a leaf from another yard. It was...an illegal alien leaf! And after that first invader, thousands, perhaps millions more rushed in and blended in with my homeboy leaves.

Okay, I get it. My house is located on a busy corner. Illegal leaves can enter my yard from two directions. Fine. I'll suck it up and do just a little more raking, a little more bagging and a little more cursing. But then insult lead to injury when I woke up one morning last week and saw that someone heaved a giant bag of leaves into my driveway. They must've tossed it from the street because the bag hit my car and exploded on my windshield, roof and trunk.

Of course, stuff being tossed in my yard is no new thing. Remember, my house is on a busy corner. Since I moved in June 6th, I have picked up nearly 3.5 metric tons of discared coffee cups, fast food wrappers, milk cartons, soda cans, beer bottles, plastic sandwich containers and one pair of women's underwear. Don't worry, I wear gloves when I'm picking up the yard.

For several hours, I dutifully bagged up the debris in one set of bags and the leaves in another. Now it's done and I can kick back in my man cave and enjoy the late season warmth. Until the next morning. After that particularly breezy night, I was completely re-leaved. That's it. The leaves stay right where they are. I've lost the war. To prove it, I may hang that pair of white women's underwear on a flagpole on my front porch and wave my surrender.

Anyway, winter is coming and the snow will provide cover. It's the one time of year my lawn looks as good as the neighbor's.

BTW, no blog Tuesday, Thursday or Friday this week. This week's final blog will be Wednesday when I'll do a special mid-week edition of Free Form Friday.